How To Traumatize Your Children

Author: Knock Knock
Publisher:
ISBN: 1601060386
Size: 13.84 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 34

While it's inevitable that all of us will traumatize our children, even the most committed parents have lacked guidance in doing so deliberately and effectively. Don't leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions--whether you want to traumatize your children with the same techniques your parents used or you prefer to choose an entirely new approach, this book will show you the way!

Experimenting With Babies

Author: Shaun Gallagher
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101599693
Size: 13.27 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 63

Babies can be a joy—and hard work. Now, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit! This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, motor, language, and behavioral development—using your own bundle of joy as the research subject. Simple, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills—everything from recognizing faces, voices, and shapes to understanding new words, learning to walk, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, a few months old, or a toddler, these simple, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby’s eyes—and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.

Raising The Perfect Child Through Guilt And Manipulation

Author: Elizabeth Beckwith
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 9780061939686
Size: 19.37 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
View: 44

Popular actress and stand-up comedienne Elizabeth Beckwith gives us the parenting guide to end all parenting guides: Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation. A frequent guest on The Late, Late Show and one of seven comics featured in the Time magazine article, “Funny: The Next Generation,” Beckwith now puts forth a hilarious new parenting philosophy that would shock Dr. Spock and traumatize T. Berry Brazelton. Raising the Perfect Child through Guilt and Manipulation is a riotously irreverent take on contemporary child rearing.

How To Ruin Your Child In 7 Easy Steps

Author: Patrick Quinn
Publisher: David C Cook
ISBN: 9781434709325
Size: 19.80 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
View: 52

In a world where parenting advice shifts faster than fashion trends, this “how not-to parent” resource takes a fresh look at how the Seven Deadly Sins are the root of most modern parenting problems. Through humorous stories and practical biblical wisdom, Patrick Quinn and Ken Roach show how well-meaning parents can ruin their children’s lives in seven easy steps (wrath, greed, envy, lust, sloth, gluttony, and pride). Quinn and Roach then offer a fresh counter-approach—laying a seven-fold foundation for lasting significance so parents can help rescue their children’s heart ... and future.

Parenting Is Easy

Author: Sara Given
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 9780761187134
Size: 11.13 MB
Format: PDF
View: 58

Imagine a world where pregnant women are always upbeat and glowing, newborns sleep on cue, toddlers love to have their teeth brushed, and teenagers gaze adoringly at their parents. Impossible, you say? Not according to advertisers who flood the web with stock photos of perfect parents and children. They’d have you believe that parenting is a piece of cake, and every significant moment of family life takes place on a spotless white couch. So when Sara Given, a real mother of a real toddler, saw a picture of a radiant new mother in a cute little sundress breastfeeding her newborn in the middle of a golf course, she finally had enough. She launched a Tumblr, which is now visited by tens of thousands of new parents looking for a daily pick-me-up. Because what better way is there to deal with the stress and strain of being a new parent than laughter? The perfect gift of cheer and solidarity, Parenting Is Easy exploits the disconnect between these preposterous photos and what happens in real life, and makes every reader laugh out loud—and feel better, too, because we’re in on the joke.

Sh Tty Mum

Author: Mary Ann Zoellner
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 9781444755213
Size: 11.54 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
View: 95

Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries. This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world. We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.