For This We Left Egypt

Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 9781250110220
Size: 11.49 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
View: 86

The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.

Passover Haggadah

Author: Elie Wiesel
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781439142257
Size: 14.71 MB
Format: PDF
View: 58

A Passover Haggadah, enhanced with more than fifty original drawings, Elie Wiesel and his friend Mark Podwal invite you to join them for the Passover Seder—the most festive event of the Jewish calendar. Read each year at the Seder table, the Haggadah recounts the miraculous tale of the liberation of the Children of Israel from slavery in Egypt, with a celebration of prayer, ritual, and song. Wiesel and Podwal guide you through the Haggadah and share their understanding and faith in a special illustrated edition that will be treasured for years to come. Accompanying the traditional Haggadah text (which appears here in an accessible new translation) are Elie Wiesel's poetic interpretations, reminiscences, and instructive retellings of ancient legends. The Nobel laureate interweaves past and present as the symbolism of the Seder is explored. Wiesel's commentaries may be read aloud in their entirety or selected passages may be read each year to illuminate the timeless message of this beloved book of redemption.

The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook

Author: Dinah Bucholz
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781440508523
Size: 17.88 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 95

Bangers and mash with Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the Hogwarts dining hall. A proper cuppa tea and rock cakes in Hagrid's hut. Cauldron cakes and pumpkin juice on the Hogwarts Express. With this cookbook, dining a la Hogwarts is as easy as Banoffi Pie! With more than 150 easy-to-make recipes, tips, and techniques, you can indulge in spellbindingly delicious meals drawn straight from the pages of your favorite Potter stories, such as: Treacle Tart--Harry's favorite dessert Molly's Meat Pies--Mrs. Weasley's classic dish Kreacher's French Onion Soup Pumpkin Pasties--a staple on the Hogwarts Express cart With a dash of magic and a drop of creativity, you'll conjure up the entrees, desserts, snacks, and drinks you need to transform ordinary Muggle meals into magical culinary masterpieces, sure make even Mrs. Weasley proud!

Harry Potter And Torah

Author: Dov Krulwich
Publisher:
ISBN: 1847532373
Size: 19.63 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 50

DO YOU KNOW that there are Jewish perspectives on mudbloods, owl post, ghosts, magic wands, the rights of magical creatures, and avada kedavra? HARRY POTTER AND TORAH combs Jewish literature for explanations of these and other themes from the Harry Potter series. Based fully on traditional Jewish teachings, from Talmud and Midrash to Jewish Law and the Chassidic masters, HARRY POTTER AND TORAH will touch the souls of Harry Potter fans, fans of other magic and fantasy, and anyone curious what Judaism says about esoteric themes. See www.harrypottertorah.com for more details and information about the book.

The Unorthodox Haggadah

Author: Nathan Phillips
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449470357
Size: 12.28 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
View: 29

The Unorthodox Haggadah is a way to enjoy the strange and wonderful world of religion, while skipping the boring parts. Ritual is at the core of every culture, but people are no longer into dogma. This book offers the ritual with a hilarious, irreverent twist. It is genuinely funny, fun to flip through, and a riot to use at the seder. Make sure everyone around your table has a copy for the next Passover. Sample text: Let's begin by drinking the blood of a virgin lamb off the tip of a flaming golden scimitar. In the event that you've de-virginized your lamb or misplaced your scimitar, use wine. Now, we toast the Israelites for rolling out of Egypt in time and generally being clever. Here are a few things they've invented since 1901: Jeans, lipstick, Hollywood, the fax machine, psychoanalysis, and the weekend. Thanks for getting us out of Egypt before shit got too real. Drink the second cup of wine while leaning to the left. “…light up your seder.” -Huffington Post "A cool, creative affront to Jewish grandmothers." -MediaBistro “Redefine Bitter Herbs…slightly insane.” -Tablet Magazine "It’s the Passover you never knew you always wanted...While there are many (many!) different Haggadah versions out there, this one is hands down our favorite (sorry Maxwell house). Genuinely funny, which puts it head and shoulders above 99.9% of the treacly crap people foist on unsuspecting seder guests to try to fool them into thinking they’re actually enjoying themselves.” -Heeb Magazine­